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“If a bloke hasn’t got enough money to pay for a meal for me,” she says, “then what kind of boyfriend will he make? Her attitude is similar to that of most Vietnamese women.

Even though both the male and female in a relationship get benefit, it remains the duty of the man to pay for everything, something that in Vietnamese we call tinh phi or the cost of love.

It’s no longer seen as a pretext to marriage, although Tuan, a friend of mine, says that “if a woman is a virgin, it’s still better.” No matter how much the modern era has changed attitudes to sex, such a statement remains a problem for Vietnamese women.

As a result, unintentionally they are expected to be the main source of finance. At present, many men in Vietnam don’t have girlfriends because they don’t have enough tinh phi for the relationship.

Having a relationship with someone from a different cultural background is fraught with difficulty.

Can love work between couples from different language backgrounds and different cultures?

Likewise, many mixed-race relationships break up because the foreign male sees the lack of sharing to be unfair.

They feel used and as if they are no more than an ATM with an endless supply of cash.

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